Summer time

I feel like almost all of my posts start with, “so, it’s been awhile…” but I don’t want to say that this time. I’m just going to let you know that I am a busy mom!! Summer has been fun this year, and it is almost over. The boys have not been driving me too crazy, but I think we are all pretty much ready to get back into a routine. It’s fun to be schedule free for a little bit, but not for too long.

I have only gained a few pounds back during the summer, so I hope to recitify that quickly in the next couple of weeks, and then get back on track to lose my remaining 15 pounds. As of right now I am hovering around 167, and I was as low as 160, so I need to lose 22 pounds as of right now, but 7 of those should not be hard to RE-lose.

Trevor and I are also trying a new budget tactic to help try to pay off all of my dental debt, but unfortunately I am probably going to be adding quite a bit more to it with some kind of procedure in the next few weeks. I’ll let you know what happens, when I know what is going on!

I have done a lot of soul searching the past couple of weeks, also and it has been very refreshing. I do enjoy looking into the nitty-gritty and getting down to the business of living life abundantly, and not lazily. That is a lifelong battle, and I hope to never quite fighting!

Plateau smash

So, I had been hovering around 170 for several weeks, moving down, but not really by much. I always seem to get to that number and then things get stupid. Well, I get stupid. I just start enjoying the feel of that weight and that my clothes no longer feel too small and I get cocky. I stop working out as much, and then I start eating whatever I want again. I thought that my one cheat day a week thing was working out, but it was starting to get out of control. Suddenly cheat day became stuff your face with whatever you see day. This is not a good thing, or even an enjoyable one. I decided that right after Easter I would snap back into it and make sure that I didn’t ruin all my hard work. Again. So, I managed to maintain my weight at that 170 even though I suffered a pretty poor week of bad food and not being able to work out for various reasons. So, that is something to be happy about. Well, I decided to give CrossFit a real try, and do all the workouts instead of doing a random one every now and then just because I liked it. So, I have been doing this plan for the last 9 days as well as cutting out as much sugar as I can practically eliminate and that plateau has been blown to smithereens. It only took a couple days, too before my system starting responding. I lost nearly 5 pounds in that week of revitilization and I hope to continue my smash-a-thon with some even smarter eating. I am learning so much with the help of my husband and his sisters, especially his baby sister Abbey. She has been so instrumental in keeping me motivated and inspired. I couldn’t give you a defined reason why, other than she is incredibly encouraging and supportive, but most of it feels unspoken. I just feel uplifted around her lately, and that is a good feeling. Trevor has been super helpful, too. He is very encouraging and yet knows how to push me. This support thing is pretty great.

Sunday, Sundae

So, I get to weigh in tomorrow, again, and see if I achieved the 3 pounds I am going for. So far, I am optimistic. Sunday is also my free day, cheat day, off day, whatever you wanna call it. I love getting to weigh in in the morning, and then celebrate at lunch all my hard work. It has been unbelievable that I have been able to have these free days, and not screw up the whole week right after that. I am normally very bad about having just one little cheat for myself, and then spiraling out of control! It has been very refreshing to have these moments and then move on. I haven’t worked out since Tuesday, but that’s ok. I might work out today, but if I don’t that’s ok. I am eating GREAT, so it’s ok if I don’t work out so much. I did work out Sunday, Monday and Tuesday of last week, so it’s not like I did terrible. Alright, well, I hope that my journaling about this for the whole world to see is having some sort of impact on you. Maybe I can motivate you to make better choices. I know it is hard, but it really does get easier the more you do it. You will have bad days, but don’t let them turn into weeks. Just have your bad day, and then start the next one brand new. We got this!

Nostalgic

I took Trevor’s advice and went back and read several of my posts from the last 8 or 9 months. It makes me sad to see all those times I was so hard on myself for the weight loss roller coaster. It happens! I have once again found a new understanding of food, and working out. I have become more familier with CrossFit work outs and I really do like them. I am starting to fit into my wardrobe again, so that is exciting. I weighed in this morning at 169.6. I have been so looking forward to being out of the 70′s since last May, so this is cool. Maybe I’ll be exciting about bathing suit weather this year! Even if I’m not, I got a really cute bathing suit that totally covers my stomach!! Those kind of tankinis are really hard to find. I want the coverage of a 1-piece, but the easy bathroom access of a 2-piece. hehe.

Motivate me!

So, I have been doing great for a few weeks now, and I want to stay that way. I want so badly to keep losing weight every week. I have been trying to stay kinda spontaneous with my workouts, and I have been eating smaller meals more frequently. I just really want the weight to fall off!! I weigh in on Sundays with my other ladies that I am competing with to lose weight, and I seriously want to lose 3 pounds this week. I need to workout everyday, and not eat any more bad stuff!! I have been doing awesome about eating a bad meal, and then recovering, but I want to eat perfectly this week! If I am going to lose 3 pounds, I need to be super serious! I love the compliments I have heard about how I look skinnier now, but I have so much farther to go! I need to lose 25 more pounds, so if you wanna say something to keep me going, I would LOVE IT!

Fonder, yet?

It’s been just about 4 months since I last got on this thing. I have gone up and down a bit with those pounds and all, but as of today I am on the right track. Well, actually, I’ve been doing pretty well for about 4 weeks now. I have lost 11 pounds since then, and I am still on my way. I am currently weighing in at 171.6, or so. It fluctuates throughout the day, of course. I have adopted a much better mental attitude towards eating. I have grown accustomed to having a free day once a week, instead of just totally depriving myself of everything and then going crazy for 3 months and gaining it all back, and then some. I would ideally like to weigh 145, but I will be very happy at anything under 160. I feel stronger because I am working out, too. Trevor and I have both been doing cross fit work outs when we get the chance. We don’t have all the equipment, but Trevor’s sister does and we borrow her garage every once in awhile. I find that I can do things I didn’t expect myself to be capable of doing. Why do we do that to ourselves? We tell ourselves, I could never do that, so why even try. Just try it! Even at the cost of maybe looking a little silly, at least you can say you tried it. I’ve lived far too much of my life sitting around on the couch. It’s time to challenge ourselves and go for the things that scare us.

So, here’s to be being back in the saddle, and in it for the long haul!

Yeah, so…

I have been absent for the very reason that I’m sure you might think. FAILURE! Well, non-success, anyway. I have gained a few pounds back, but I am headed back in the right direction, and I have a brand new goal! I turn 30 in 38 days. I want to lose 10 pounds in that time. Life has been super crazy in the last couple of months. Trevor has started coaching basketball and I am at home with the kids alone A LOT! My source of comfort has been eating, and stupid eating at that! I’m not making excuses to try to go out to eat, I am just eating everything in sight in my house. Empty, meaningless eating that seems to give me something to do more than it fills any lonely void. I am hoping that starting work again will help with my laziness. I am trying to come up with something to do when I get the urge to binge. I’ll let you know if anything takes!

Tuff

Why is it so hard to get your mind off of food when you aren’t even hungry? Now that I can chew on the right side of my mouth again (the left side is still not working great) all I want is some stupid queso again. Oh boy. We have no money either, so I can’t just go get some.

I worked out this morning and I think I did a pretty good job of working out intensely and pumping more iron than usual. I have worn a pair of jeans this week that I haven’t worn in almost 3 years, I think. It felt so good to have those on and go out and feel good about myself. I still want to lose another 10 pounds to really bump up my wardrobe choices, but this weight that I am at right now seems to be my hovering point. I seem to want to stay right here and not budge.

So, I guess I’ll eat some healthy choice pasta bowl thingy tonight…maybe.

Update

So, I think it was 5 weeks ago that I stated my weight of 176.6 pounds. I have officially lost 6 pounds. Today I weighed 170.6 and it feels lovely! I still have to lose 10 pounds to reach my first goal of 160, and I wanted to reach that goal by Thanksgiving, which is in about 4 1/2 weeks, so that would mean lots of hard work ahead! I am still going to go for it, so hopefully 4 Saturdays from now I will be at least 162, or something like that. We shall see! Oh, and I know I said something about putting another picture on here monthly, but I wanna wait a bit longer so the picture looks a little bit more obvious in it’s changed-ness. YEAH for 6 pounds!!!!!

Inspiration

So, there is a young woman that I see every now and then. When I see her I am 100% commited to keeping my diet and exercise program. She’s one of those young people that hasn’t had kids yet, and has money and is gorgeous. Whenever I see her I am reminded of my former self. I see myself when I was 20 and skinny and full of self-confidence; not at all intimidated by other attractive ladies. I truly didn’t care what people thought about me, and that was partially because I was hot stuff, but mostly just confident. I understand that now. I still don’t really care what people think about me, but it is more of a bitter feeling these days, accompanied with thoughts like, “you have 3 kids and see what your stomach looks like, ya jerk.” I hate admitting this, but I miss the feeling of guys checking me out. They don’t do that anymore. When I say I miss that, it’s not attention I’m looking for, or any kind of interaction, I just miss having my appearance validated by people who owe me no validation. Ugh! Do I sound vain, or what?!

So, this chick that I see every now and then…well, I actually used how I feel when I see her today to keep me from getting a big mac, and it worked! I ate great for lunch. Maybe this is going to be the thing that does it for me. She just reminds me of the confidence that I once had, and that I really do want to have again. Just to make myself clear, I’m not trying to be super skinny again and trying to capture that same care-free feeling I had. I am looking for my old friend confidence. Who knows, maybe I’ll achieve it before I’m 30! That would be awesome!