Mom Flu

The most unforgiving and mentally taxing flu that has ever been is definitely the Mom Flu. What is the Mom Flu, you ask? Well, it’s basically a mom with the flu. Nothing especially clever about it.

I am on day 6 of this and I’m over it!! Not really, I still have it. Days 1-4 were  mostly about napping and hydrating and shivering and sweating. Thankfully those aren’t as intense as they started out. One thing that has been exceptionally frustrating is what I have missed out on. I didn’t go out to dinner for my mom’s birthday. I didn’t get to go to my good friend’s graduation party for her daughter. I am currently missing church. Tomorrow we have a reunion of sorts with dear friends we hardly ever see, and I might not get to do that either. I’m totally complaining right now, but I DON’T CARE!

Also, the neat freak in me is just dying. I am not talking about scrubbing and having a sparkling clean home. I just don’t want to keep ignoring that random french fry I see in the corner of the living room. And forget about worrying about what my kids are eating right now. I’m pretty sure Trace has had fruit snacks for breakfast everyday this week.

Here’s the worst thing about all of it: I miss hugging and kissing my boys. They haven’t been perfect angels, but really they have been quite considerate and it makes me so proud of them and want to squeeze them even more. This is most definitely going to pass. I will get better and soon enough I will not sweat thru my shirts for no reason at all. 

The question I want to ask myself is will I remember that right now I actually WANT to clean my house. I WANT to cook a healthy meal for my family. I WANT to venture out of the house on my own with my kids. Or will I fall back into my bad habits? 

So, if you’re a mom who gets the flu, remember that your house can handle a mess for a week or so. You’re kids can handle terrible diets and being under house arrest for a week or so. It won’t last forever. Maybe it’s not so bad after all.

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Published in: on June 9, 2013 at 5:43 pm  Comments (2)  

My favorite obsession

I have always said to people that I am NOT competitive. I can enjoy sports or games just for the pure fun of it, and if I win that makes it all the better. Losing never really fluffed my feathers.

I started Crossfit March of 2012. I did it about 3 times a week for nearly 3 months. Then when summer hit and excuses became rampant, I was going less and less and eating worse and worse. Like the majority of Americans I had lost some weight, and fallen off the wagon only to put on more than I had even lost! I even developed a dislike for Crossfit and all it’s people. Not a genuine dislike, just a bitterness. I couldn’t tell you why, and all the reasons I had were debunked eventually.

So, here were are again. I started over on Christmas eve. Actually I started the day after Thanksgiving, but thanks to a 2 week long bout of bronchitis or something like that, I didn’t really start until Christmas eve. So, it is nearly the 3 month mark again and I have been going 3 to 4 times a week. My body has begun it’s change again and I am feeling strong again. One thing is mostly different this time than last year. I give a crap about beating people!! It bothers me when I’m last or slowest. That hadn’t happened before. Now, I want to improve faster and achieve greater things. I do workouts at home on my own just to improve certain movements! 

Also, this year I decided to participate in the CrossFit Games to see how I compare to other crossfitters. I have a LOT of improving to do still, but what is cool is that I am already excited about how far I’ll get between this year and next year. I have a future in mind with this, and that is very motivating. My first workout was performed after the “weak” from hell. I gassed very quickly, but I worked as hard as I could at that level of energy. The next workout is announced in 2 days and I am really pumped to be able to perform at my best again!! 

Published in: on March 11, 2013 at 9:52 pm  Leave a Comment  

Plans of mice and moms

I had a vision in my mind of how it was going to play out. The boys were going to be so excited and would talk about it all the way to the store and get along and be so happy. 

As you might imagine, it did not play out like that.

Trevor and I have been waiting for our tax return to come in so that we could buy a big trampoline for the boys because it will be fun for everyone and give them exercise. It’s just an all around awesome thing to have! The day finally came, and as I was sending the boys to school I could barely keep my secret, but I did. I was going to sit them down after school and video their response on my iPhone and it would be a YouTube sensation and eventually make it to Ellen and then we would all be invited on the show and she would give us a pile of money. :O)

Everything was fine up until the boys actually got home. Trevor even got home a little early and was here before the boys. He convinced me to wait to tell the boys until we were in the store and actually buying it to tell them. This is the first part of the plan gone awry. The boys got home and we told them to leave their shoes on and get ready to leave. I was buckling the 3 year old into the car while the older two ( 9yr & 6yr) were supposed to be getting in from the other side. I could see them start fighting and getting physical with punches and kicks and I’ll admit that my temper rose with a speed that even surprised me. I closed the car door with the toddler strapped in and fumed over to the two crying idiots. I grabbed their arms (probably a little too firmly) with a look of pure rage on my face and they each started crying louder as I took them inside away from prying neighbor eyes. 

Now, honestly I should not have lost my temper. Boys will fight. They just will. I was just so upset that they weren’t following my vision! They were supposed to be giggling with delight not kicking and crying with anger. All parties involved thus far were not doing well.

So, I threw them inside where their father was confused and explained what they were doing. The thought of not getting the trampoline came up, but we stuffed it down. They each finished their tantrums and we piled into the car where our 3 year old had been the whole time. He was only in there for about 5 minutes alone, but again, I felt bad. Why couldn’t things work the way I wanted them to? 

The boys still didn’t know what we were doing or getting, so when we got to the store I started recording. What I recorded was not what I pictured getting us to Ellen. We showed them the picture of what was in this giant box we were buying and they were like, “cool.” Seriously??? We are buying something you’ve asked for many times with lots of enthusiasm, but today we get, “cool?” My 6 year old had found a bouncy ball that he was asking for, and I told him to put it back. He started to cry and whine and I asked if he would prefer a ball or the trampoline and he chose to ball!!! I told him that was too bad, and he started crying more.

AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s what I wanted to do anyway.

We bought the dumb trampoline and told them we weren’t putting it together for 3 days because of their behavior. Honestly that worked out well for Trevor and me because we didn’t have time to do it for 3 days anyway. 🙂

So, what have I learned? What I should have known in the first place; things don’t always work out the way we want them to work out. Simple, but true. Next time I start having visions of grandeur especially where my kids are involved I’m gonna dial it back several notches and just expect chaos! Then if it works out well, I can be pleasantly surprised instead of angry and disappointed. 

Disclaimer: I do love my kids. 🙂

Published in: on March 2, 2013 at 7:48 pm  Leave a Comment  

Glimpse

Yesterday morning my oldest gave me an unintentional compliment. Every morning is the exact same routine. Get up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, get dressed, get your stuff, go to school!! I spend about 1 hour to 1.25 hrs coaxing and shushing, and occasionally yelling… okay, so I yell every morning. NBD. Anyway, yesterday I was trying to finish a *Spark and I decided to sit on the couch and just stay there til I finished knowing that it would rush me. Corban looked at me and said, “You never sit down in the morning.” I just looked back and said oh? That was it, but it gave me this grand sense of validation. He noticed that I don’t stop moving around in the morning. Maybe he sees it as a frenzy, but maybe, just maybe he appreciates it.

This morning my oldest declared that he wants to start doing CrossFit! I was very excited as this has become a huge part of our lives. I asked him why, and he said it was so he could get better at football. One of my shortcomings is not doing things because I am afraid I’ll fail anyway, so what’s the point? I have started working on that a lot lately and pushing myself to do things I wouldn’t normally do. It gave me such hope to see Corban make a plan of action, however small. I have decided to make it my mission to give him short WODs (Work Out of the Day) everyday and keep track of it in a notebook so that we can go through it together and he will see his progress. 

In the past two days I feel like my baby boy is growing up! I am getting a quick glimpse of what he is trying to become and it excites me. My 6 year old on the other hand… that’s another post.

Published in: on February 28, 2013 at 2:22 am  Comments (1)  

Christy Nockels!!!

Christy Nockels!!!

This weekend was spent with a worship center filled with ladies lifting up the name of Jesus. I got to meet my favorite singer who is in the picture with me and my mom!

Published in: on February 28, 2013 at 2:03 am  Leave a Comment  

A Journey

I have so much in my head right now. I want so badly for it to all just appear on the screen with beautiful eloquence and clarity…but it ain’t happening.

In January I started, ehem, correcting bad habits for the millionth time in regards to eating and working out. In other words, I starting giving a crap again. Thanks to a conversation that I had been avoiding and yet secretly preparing for with a sister-in-law, I discovered my excuses held no validity and was forced to let them go and take a giant gulp of humility.

My first few workouts were extremely challenging, but I was finding that excitement and longing for greatness. I would press through this beginning and keep my eyes on what I couldn’t yet see.

The diet was a whole other beast to be tamed. I decided to start watching some of the food documentaries I was always seeing on Netflix and see if that would curb my appetite. I watched about 4 through out the whole month of January, and found that it was actually helping! I wasn’t having a hard time giving up diet soda. I was drinking a ton of water and thinking about the foods that I put in my body. I began to see a desire to improve in my workouts by improving the “fuel” I fed myself.

Now, onto the most dangerous thing I have ever discovered about myself. Don’t worry, I’ll get to it. Walk with me.

I had started attending a Bible study at my church on Tuesday mornings called Mothering Matters last September. We got to drop off our kids and meet with like minded women for about 3 hours every week for 8 or so weeks for a measly $25! Our budget could totally handle that. I met with some old friends and made some new ones, but more than anything I found kindred spirits that I could relate to and grow with. So, here we are in January 2013 starting our new book study about facing our “idols.” The book began asking us to pray for God to reveal our idols. Then it got more specific. It started asking me what I was afraid of. I didn’t have an answer as of February 12, which is the date I wrote that question down in my journal. That weekend I went to a conference for yet another new thing in my life: AdvoCare! I’ll get to that, too. If you are patient with me through this blog it will be worth it! I promise!

So, at this conference we heard all kinds of success stories with some people deliberately giving credit to God, but also their own hard work. It was all very inspiring. Then the last day of the conference I heard 3 things: 1. Fear is fake 2. Do it afraid 3. What are you afraid of? I still hadn’t answered that question. What I am about to share with you I do so still a bit hesitantly, but I feel like the only thing it can do is help someone else out there going through something like what I’m feeling.

Directly from my journal: “LIE: If I stop being lazy and stop watching TV, I won’t have a purpose. I will see just how lonely, friendless and empty my life is.”

How could a Christian woman possibly believe such a lie, you might ask. I think you would be surprised to discover just how many people struggle with such falsehoods within the church body. The beautiful thing I want for all to know is that I found out what I was afraid of and discovered it was a lie. One amazing moment of confirmation from God through a dear friend made this easier for me to say out loud. All she said was, “I could tell that was hard for you to say.” It was such a powerful statement to me though. She got me! She read my body language and was accurate! Only a friend can do that! God was speaking through her one sentence so intimately to me and I remembered that I am never alone. He is always there with me, and He has a purpose for me that He has been waiting to reveal.

So after 32 years on this earth, I can finally admit that I am afraid. I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of looking stupid. I’m afraid of being rejected. I’m even afraid this blog isn’t gonna sound JUST RIGHT!

At the women’s conference at my home church tonight I heard a term called “imperfect progress.” I added a little to that.

Imperfect progress… is still progress.

Published in: on February 23, 2013 at 7:29 am  Leave a Comment  

Back in the saddle

I haven’t blogged in FOREVER!! So much has happened in my life in the last couple years. Right now the most important thing is my family. I am the mother of 2 (so far) GT boys in elementary school, and I’m sure #3 will follow in their footsteps.

I discovered that I was not fighting for my kids enough. My oldest was getting conduct marks constantly and I didn’t find out until 2/3 thru the school year that they were for things that I honestly believe were unfounded. He would get conduct marks for going to the bathroom during class time. For real!! We took him to a psychologist to see if maybe he was ADD/ADHD, and even put him on some stimulant medication, but as soon as the school year finished he relaxed. I learned a couple weeks after school was out that his teacher was very inflexible in her classroom setting and if you were not a perfect child then she didn’t know what to do with you. I felt like I had failed my boy. I had given the teacher the benefit of the doubt when I should have been his loudest advocate. He would have had the very same teacher the next year, but that wouldn’t cut it for my boy. We moved schools and he is in a classroom now with a teacher who knows how to go with the flow and he has flourished. A’s in conduct were always a foreign concept to my rowdy monsters, but somehow this new school has them excelling in all areas of their education.

So, I conclude by saying, I am not just a Mom. I am the fiercest advocate for 3 of the world’s most promising up and comers. I will raise a fuss if they are mistreated, and I will teach them how to handle disappointment, but only after they have done everything they can to get what they need.

ROAR!!!

Published in: on January 23, 2013 at 9:13 pm  Comments (1)  

Summer time

I feel like almost all of my posts start with, “so, it’s been awhile…” but I don’t want to say that this time. I’m just going to let you know that I am a busy mom!! Summer has been fun this year, and it is almost over. The boys have not been driving me too crazy, but I think we are all pretty much ready to get back into a routine. It’s fun to be schedule free for a little bit, but not for too long.

I have only gained a few pounds back during the summer, so I hope to recitify that quickly in the next couple of weeks, and then get back on track to lose my remaining 15 pounds. As of right now I am hovering around 167, and I was as low as 160, so I need to lose 22 pounds as of right now, but 7 of those should not be hard to RE-lose. 🙂

Trevor and I are also trying a new budget tactic to help try to pay off all of my dental debt, but unfortunately I am probably going to be adding quite a bit more to it with some kind of procedure in the next few weeks. I’ll let you know what happens, when I know what is going on!

I have done a lot of soul searching the past couple of weeks, also and it has been very refreshing. I do enjoy looking into the nitty-gritty and getting down to the business of living life abundantly, and not lazily. That is a lifelong battle, and I hope to never quite fighting!

Published in: on August 9, 2011 at 3:43 am  Leave a Comment  

Plateau smash

So, I had been hovering around 170 for several weeks, moving down, but not really by much. I always seem to get to that number and then things get stupid. Well, I get stupid. I just start enjoying the feel of that weight and that my clothes no longer feel too small and I get cocky. I stop working out as much, and then I start eating whatever I want again. I thought that my one cheat day a week thing was working out, but it was starting to get out of control. Suddenly cheat day became stuff your face with whatever you see day. This is not a good thing, or even an enjoyable one. I decided that right after Easter I would snap back into it and make sure that I didn’t ruin all my hard work. Again. So, I managed to maintain my weight at that 170 even though I suffered a pretty poor week of bad food and not being able to work out for various reasons. So, that is something to be happy about. Well, I decided to give CrossFit a real try, and do all the workouts instead of doing a random one every now and then just because I liked it. So, I have been doing this plan for the last 9 days as well as cutting out as much sugar as I can practically eliminate and that plateau has been blown to smithereens. It only took a couple days, too before my system starting responding. I lost nearly 5 pounds in that week of revitilization and I hope to continue my smash-a-thon with some even smarter eating. I am learning so much with the help of my husband and his sisters, especially his baby sister Abbey. She has been so instrumental in keeping me motivated and inspired. I couldn’t give you a defined reason why, other than she is incredibly encouraging and supportive, but most of it feels unspoken. I just feel uplifted around her lately, and that is a good feeling. Trevor has been super helpful, too. He is very encouraging and yet knows how to push me. This support thing is pretty great.

Published in: on May 4, 2011 at 12:15 am  Leave a Comment  

Sunday, Sundae

So, I get to weigh in tomorrow, again, and see if I achieved the 3 pounds I am going for. So far, I am optimistic. Sunday is also my free day, cheat day, off day, whatever you wanna call it. I love getting to weigh in in the morning, and then celebrate at lunch all my hard work. It has been unbelievable that I have been able to have these free days, and not screw up the whole week right after that. I am normally very bad about having just one little cheat for myself, and then spiraling out of control! It has been very refreshing to have these moments and then move on. I haven’t worked out since Tuesday, but that’s ok. I might work out today, but if I don’t that’s ok. I am eating GREAT, so it’s ok if I don’t work out so much. I did work out Sunday, Monday and Tuesday of last week, so it’s not like I did terrible. Alright, well, I hope that my journaling about this for the whole world to see is having some sort of impact on you. Maybe I can motivate you to make better choices. I know it is hard, but it really does get easier the more you do it. You will have bad days, but don’t let them turn into weeks. Just have your bad day, and then start the next one brand new. We got this!

Published in: on April 9, 2011 at 11:56 pm  Leave a Comment